Baby's feet.

We wanted the truth and nothing but the truth—and you moms kept it real.

Every parent has a good poop story. At the end of the day, what can we do but laugh when the you-know-what hits the fan? We turned to our Pipette community of supermoms for their extra-real diaper nightmare stories, and they totally delivered. Kick back, relax, be horrified, and laugh along with these stories of messes and changes gone very, very wrong. And by the way, gigantic kudos to all the moms for cleaning everything up.

 

“One time I was doing the normal nighttime routine with Henry, feeding him his bottle and rocking him off to sleep. He already had a fresh diaper, and normally he just drifts off and then into the cradle he goes. That night he was a little grumpy and a little gassy, but it didn’t sound like he had made a mess. I put him on my shoulder for a burp and started patting his back... but his back was wet. Why would his back be wet? I looked and saw a brown sticky, gooey patch. Oh great, how did that happen? Guess we had a silent blowout.

So, Change Number Two: I put a clean diaper underneath and a burp cloth over top in case he decided to pee (learned that lesson the hard way!), then opened it up to see what we were dealing with. What a mess! Poop was everywhere, up his back almost to his neck, all over and inside his fatty leg folds. It took probably a dozen baby wipes to get him cleaned up. Finally he’s clean and fresh and I lift his legs to adjust the new diaper when—squirt—out comes the last bit of poop he’d been saving. Not much, but can’t just wrap him up in a poopy diaper…so let’s throw that one out and get a fresh one.

I’d just put Diaper Number Three in place under his butt and he’s pretty happy, smiling and looking around, but also now he’s spitting up milky goo and it’s running down his cheek, onto the changing pad, and under his head. I grab the burp cloth and start wiping it up. Ugh, now he needs a new onesie. And of course now that I’ve removed the burp cloth, I hear the soft tinkle of his pee splattering all over himself, the wall, and the new diaper.

At that point I just decided to start over and give him a bath. I think by the time he was finally in bed we’d gone through six diapers, about a pack of wipes and three outfit changes between us both!” –Amy, @ahayson

 

 

<p style="color:white;">Baby smiling.</p>

Photo by @featuringthefulchers

“My husband served a year in Korea while I had to stay behind with our first baby. Halfway through his tour, we got to meet up in California for a week for a little vacation. We had the best week ever and did a road trip stopping in a different place each night. When it was time for us to catch our flight back home and for my husband to fly back to Korea for the second half of the tour, I experienced my most epic diaper nightmare.

Already distraught from having to say ‘good-bye’ again, my babe decides to have the BIGGEST blowout of her short lifetime. We were in the airport, and I hadn’t grabbed an extra set of clothes for the diaper bag (first-time mom—lesson learned) and had just used the last diaper, naively thinking we could get through the three-hour flight with the fresh one I had just put on until we reunited with the rest of our luggage and diapers. WRONG. Our flight was taking off in 30 min and I had NO clothes, NO diaper, NO wipes. I frantically ran from little airport shop to the next looking for something, anything. Surely someone had to think this situation would happen, right? 🙈 After running around with a naked baby in my ring sling, with carry-on and diaper bag in tow, I finally found a two-pack of diapers, a little 5-wipe travel packet which was ridiculously overpriced, and an airport shop onesie—also ridiculously overpriced—and prayed we would make it home with no more blowouts. We did, and got a story I eventually learned to laugh at 😅” –Mackenzie, @featuringthefulchers

 

 

“My husband, sister, and I were on our way back up to NYC on a ten-day road trip along the East Coast with our then-9-month-old son. On the way up, we only stopped at fast food joints and kid-friendly restaurants to make it easier for us and unsuspecting diners on the road. But at one of our last stops, we decided to splurge on a nice restaurant in Asheville, SC. It was a trendy farm-to-table restaurant with white tablecloths, waiters, and a lovely atmosphere. What could go wrong? We were seated by a window and ordered our meals while our son sat quietly playing with his table toys. Then as I turned to him, I saw it in his face: the scrunched nose. The furrowed brow. The pleading look in his eyes as his face turned red from strain.

I waited until he finished and immediately picked him up to go change him. Little did I know the poo had pushed out of his diaper, down his shorts, and all over his little chubby legs. I scooped him up, holding him from his armpits, legs dangling in the air. My sister followed with the entire diaper bag. I didn’t know where the bathroom was, so in a panic, I ran around the dining room frantically looking for it as I screamed, “Oh My God-oh my God-oh my God” over and over again as the other diners looked on in horror. When we finally found it, we truly realized how nice a restaurant we were in, because they only had cloth-covered wicker baskets as trash cans and really nice thick paper towels. The good stuff. So unfortunately, we wiped and wiped and had to throw everything out…into the cloth-lined wicker baskets. The wipes, the diaper, his shorts, his shoes…all covered in poo…all into the wicker basket. I felt awful. Once we were done, we came out to my husband sitting by himself at the table, next to a booster chair, covered in poo. We had taken all the baby wipes with us, leaving him with nothing but nice cloth napkins. We ripped out the baby wipes and frantically cleaned everything as discreetly as possible, praying no one smelled it—only to realize that the table behind us was a couple in the middle of a proposal! Mortified, we asked to doggy-bag the rest of our meal and ate it cold up in our hotel room!” –Erica, @ehomyern

 

 

<p style="color:white;">Baby laying down with Baby Wipes and Baby Balm.</p>

Photo by @medicatedd.mama

“I think our worst diaper nightmare was with our oldest, Royce. He had just begun sleeping through the night in his own room, and with this newfound freedom he took it upon himself to unzip his sleeper and get one leg out of his diaper in the middle of the night. And, without fail, every morning promptly begins with a #2... making the “one leg out of the diaper” situation very unfortunate 😂. It was all over him (he got it on his hands, and then put his hands in his hair 🤢). The crib, his bedding, stuffed dog, everything. Needless to say, that day began with a bath, sanitizing, and a load of laundry!” –Mikayla, @medicatedd.mama

 

 

“When Judah was a newborn, he routinely had explosive poop. He would go through several diapers when he pooped because just when we thought it was over, he would keep pooping into the new diaper. One night was especially horrifying: my mom was changing him and I heard a scream from where I was in the bathroom. I ran over to see the damage. My mom was open-mouthed, speechless: there was a neatly packed-up dirty diaper at the foot of the changing table, a diaper under Judah, and a third diaper my mom was using as a shield above him because he was live-pooping (and sometimes would fountain pee as well). There was poo all over the changing table around his bottom, poo on the walls and chair that were in the line of fire, as well as poo on the carpet—somehow it had exploded well past the pee pads that we had on the floor for added protection. It turned out that he had been pooping right at the moment when my mom took the diaper off, and while she was smart to grab another diaper as a shield, his poop was so watery and explosive that it ricocheted off the diaper shield and made its way to the walls and everywhere else. We spent a long time cleaning this up together, and my husband came home and helped clean as well. That was definitely the worst we ever had it!!!” –Terry, @terry_vb 

 

 

“When my husband went back to work after paternity leave, my dad was super-sweet and brought me lunch to keep me company during the day. One day, while he was hanging with my baby girl and had her on his lap, she took THE BIGGEST poop of ALL TIME… and she kept it going! My dad was actually enjoying this and cheered her on until he felt the warmth on his leg. Yup, her poop conveniently found its way outside her diaper and onto his lap! A few moments of screams, scrunched faces, and lots of laughs later, I went to change her and discovered her poop all over my favorite outfit of hers (including a white onesie of course). My dad took her clothes and told me he would clean them. And in very dad fashion, I found him hosing them down with the water hose on the lawn. Thanks for being a trooper, dad!” –Giselle, @giselletopal

 

<p style="color:white;">Mom carrying baby.</p>

Photo by @tanisha_szeto

 “I remember first bringing Emmett home from the hospital after a really tough delivery, the hardest of my three babies. Emergency C section. My husband was still working at the time so I was home alone with all three. While I was nursing on the couch, Emmett took a watery poop all down my nightgown and I couldn’t get up because my incision hurt so bad! So I just sat there covered in newborn poop and videotaped it to remember the moment, lol. Also he had the funniest poop grunts and facial expressions. The newborn stage has to be my favourite. You’re so sleep-deprived and just completely drained, and all you can really do is soak it up because it goes by so fast. ❤️” – Tanisha Szeto, @tanisha_szeto 

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